Vow Writing Tips: Where to Begin

Aaah, it’s so exciting that you’re at this stage in your wedding journey! I was at this stage 3 days before the big day, so don’t stress out if you’re 2 months ahead! However, if you’re like me and time is running short, take a breath first and foremost.

Vows have the tendency of becoming a heavy burden on a bride’s shoulders. I’m not sure why. This shouldn’t be the case. You may not have this feeling, and I’m hoping you don’t, but vows are significant and they do need to be thought out to some extent… just not to the point of aiming for perfection. Vows are defined as a solemn promise, but know that it is one that is not only made to your spouse-to-be.

I remember reading a marriage issue from Focus on the Family before I got married, and one article that I read embraced the true meaning of vows. Often today, we hear vows that express how deep one’s love is for the other and the journey of how they came to love that person with all their heart. But what this one author from Focus on the Family emphasized on was the ‘‘I will’’ statement; vows are a promise in the sense that you will do what you say you will do. Vows have come to be written in the present tense, when they should really focus on the future. For it is for Christ’s sake that you make a solemn promise to honour Him through serving your husband in all that you (will) do. The words you will write today are not for your husband-to-be only, but the Lord Jesus Christ.

Keeping this all in mind, based on my own vows, I have created a starting point for you, ladies. You can take it or leave it, but know that it’s here and you are more than welcome to use it and share with other future brides.

Start with...

To begin, think of the top 3 moments that were significant in your relationship. This could be the day you first met, the time you realized that you both loved one another, etc. Once you have that down, pick 3 Bible verses that you wish to vow to the Lord (these verses should reflect how you will love your husband). These could be passages about humility, honesty, prayer, you name it. Now, you’re welcome to use more or less than the number I’ve suggested here. Again, this is just a starting point.

Structure

In terms of structure and how to incorporate each of the 3 memories and passages, there are 4 subject points (I guess we’ll call it?) that I recommend for you to try writing. To begin, start with one memory. You can mention as many details as you would like here, but remember, this is not the focus of your vows. For this, I would suggest not exceeding 2-3 sentences. Once you have started off with that memory, you can then go into reflecting on your groom’s personality; how he makes you feel, how he helps to grow your relationship with Christ, and how you’re possibly inspired by his love for Christ. You can also drift off into another memory if you’d like, but if you’re doing this, aim to have a distinct purpose for telling the story, preferably a purpose that is different than the first memory you mentioned.

Bring it Back to the Heart

After you have accomplished both parts of this structure, you can then start declaring the promises that you will follow through on as his wife. For this part, in my own vows, I incorporated Scripture without referencing it (or in other words, I paraphrased it). For instance, you can use Proverbs 31:25 by saying how you promise to rely on the Lord’s strength for the difficult days to come, knowing that there is no need to fear your future because you are both in the Lord’s hands. And then, to top off your vows, bring it back to the Lord; reference Scripture word by word, declare how you are grateful for the Lord’s Sovereignty in your relationship, and how you’re excited to see what He has for your future ahead.

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I hope that this has provided you with some inspiration! May the Lord bless your covenant; the promises you make to Him and your husband-to-be. Hold tight, my dear sister, you’re almost there!