What Brides Never Tell You: What Marriage First Felt Like

It’s been a long journey for Jonah and I… a very long journey.

Some may say that six years don’t count as long, and I can’t complain if you’ve been waiting for 8 years - I’m just telling you that those 6 years were long. We began our relationship when we were very young, ages 14 and 15. Temptation struck from time to time, and we weren’t always patient. So, when there was talk of a wedding on the way, Jonah and I were more than excited.

Our dreams were about to come true; how could we hold in our excitement? From what I can remember during our engagement season, our conversations mainly covered the wedding, the day-to-day life in marriage, and sex. These conversations carried on for 14 months. But when those 14 months were up, our conversations became reality.

It was a quick transition, but it was more than smooth sailing. This was unexpected for both of us. How could something that we’ve been waiting for for so long feel like nothing? Has anything even changed?!

If you’ve ever seen the movie, Soul, then you’d be familiar with this great analogy, which I think can be applied to marriage. The analogy states:

“I heard this story about a fish. He swims up to this older fish and says, ‘I’m trying to find this thing they call the ocean.’ ‘The ocean? That’s what you’re in right now.’ ‘This?’ says the young fish. ‘This is water. What I want is the ocean.’”

Jonah and I were in the same boat as the young fish. We were expecting the ocean only to find ourselves already in it. And this is not to say that marriage is a letdown, because it’s NOT! Jonah and I have loved every minute of it. But it’s that smooth transition that we weren’t expecting; it was natural.

What were we hoping for? We actually have no idea, but because we have been together for so long, our hopes were held high. I think, for us, it was God’s way of saying that we were ready and it was time for us to take the next step in glorifying Him to another level. And now knowing this, I want to encourage you to trust and rely on the Lord - without setting expectations for you or your marriage - for he knows what is best for all of us and how he will use us for His glory.