God's Grace Through My Diamond

If there’s anything I love to do, it’s going for nature walks. Anything to do with God’s creation is right up my alley - the forest landscapes, stunning bodies of water, steep hills and scooping valleys, the infinite number of stars and the bright moon on a clear night, and so on. These awestruck memories are more enjoyable walking hand in hand with my husband, Nick. Yet once upon a time, life was not as stable and calm….

I recall my dating history to be not a great track record since starting adulthood. Though I had three prior relationships to Nick, each one had its own unhealthy characteristics that led to their demise. It seemed that I kept running to relationships out of the sake of attempting to fill a void for affection and nurture that was lacking from my childhood. By the time the third painful relationship ended, I was pretty much done with dating. I was so angry and ashamed of myself for allowing someone to hurt me in so many ways and even let the wretchedness of sin seep into my life. As a newer believer at the time, I was so naïve to think all men that went to church were “Christians”. A lot of lessons have been taught to me over time, but one in particular stands out.

The first time I met Nick, it was not love at first sight; in fact, I was weirded out. This was at our university club called CampusChurch where I shared my testimony for the first time about my walk with Jesus. I get a tap on the shoulder after the night concludes, and the tall man with the nerdy glasses and bright red sweater says: “You are an inspiration.” What a way to make a first impression! He eventually introduced himself to me and we enjoyed small talk about classes and the lesson we heard that night. Little did I know that the next year and a half God would work on Nicholas’ heart in the process of transformation to live in servanthood for the Lord and his love for me would eventually take shape [without my knowledge].

On a cold winter Friday night in January 2017 was our CampusChurch formal – dressed up, around our fellow brothers and sisters, and interesting but appropriate choices in music. As my friends put on the slow song, “Total Eclipse of the Heart”, I get a tap on the shoulder, and I turn around to see Nick in his red long sleeve collar shirt asking to dance with me. Initially, I was in such a joyful mood, enjoying my night as a single lady for the first time in almost a year. I didn’t think anything of it; just two friends enjoying a dance. BUT, when I asked Nick in the first 10 seconds of the song why he wanted to dance with me three times, and his response on the THIRD attempt was a genuine smile and the phrase, “Because I care about you”. I completely froze inside.

I realized then and there that Nick LIKED me romantically. I was ready to internally scream and had to reject the dance and ‘run away’ to the empty room next door. I wanted to try so hard to maintain the singleness mindset. I kept thinking I did not deserve to date because of my mistakes in the past, the fear of facing emotional pain again, and even judgement from people at my church because I was so quick to go back into dating without taking time to myself. So many thoughts. So much confusion. In that empty room, I sat in a booth seat crying my eyes to God in frustration, wondering why I was in this predicament again when I thought I needed to stay away from dating. Overtime, His answer appeared.

The Tuesday after the formal, I was in the cafeteria staring down Nick in my chair with full intention to detest and reject the proposal of dating if it was ever brought up. Yet, Nick’s responses to my interrogation stopped me in my thought process, and I noticed that he was different from other guys. And so I gave us a chance to get to know each other. I really was scared about this process, yet I had a sense of peace being around Nick and kept being assured in my prayers to God that there was a reason for this process.

As I look back on this experience, I remember a thought I blurted out to a friend one time when I was describing my blossoming relationship with Nick. “He is the hidden diamond in the mountain of coals.” I still hold true to this saying. What does it mean? Simply, in a world of so many eligible bachelors that are not a well-suited match, sometimes it is not so obvious if and/or when you know there is a match. It takes time, patience, and work to clean up the smudges that hide the value of the diamond. Nick is my precious diamond God gifted me with during a season I thought I did not deserve to date.

I think of the verse in 2 Corinthians 12:9 where God said to the Apostle Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Paul continued, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” I learned now that I cannot doubt God’s gracious side of his character, as it’s something that I nor anyone else deserves. It’s understanding the concept of God’s grace that significantly changes perspective.

Meet the Author

Hello there! My name is Alexis Wright – an ambassador for Jesus Christ, a devoting wife, cat mom, and soon to be pharmacy technician. I love being able to learn and challenge myself to do new things – including writing blog posts! I am so honoured and blessed to have you read what God instilled in my heart to share with you. May this ignite and enlighten you through where you are in this season.