Dating 101: When to Take the Next Step & Get Married

So you’ve been dating for awhile or maybe have only been dating for a week, and you’re wondering when the best time to get married is…

I’m just going to leave this little disclaimer: I don’t know all the answers, and I’m sure not God, so don’t take any of my words as wisdom here. I’m just telling you what I know from personal experience - and if you’re familiar with my love story, then you know that my “personal experience” is EXTREMELY rare.

There is no RIGHT time to get married. You can get married today, you can get married in another 20 years. That choice is up to you! But what I will say is that there should be a right PURPOSE. Are you getting married because you want to stop living with your parents or are you wanting to get married because you know that marriage demonstrates God’s love and through marriage you can honour him as a wife? This is the first thing you should consider together before you tie the knot.

Second. I encourage you to spend some time away from one another. WHAT? “Isn’t that the opposite of what we should be doing”, you might ask? Maybe, depending on your relationship and what you’ve been through together, but this is what my husband and I NEEDED before we got married (and I’m familiar with other relationships that needed to experience this as well). Am I saying you should break up or take a break? No. But taking time away from one another may help your relationship to grow a lot stronger. Ever heard of, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder”?

Jonah and I were 3 years into dating season when we decided to take a break (ps. not many people know this about us). Jonah just started college and I was in my last year of high school; we felt disconnected and not on the same level. Our communication and desire for one another wasn’t the same as it has been at the time, and so we called it off… for a weekend. It was in this time that we realized how much the Lord has blessed us with one another and we finally began to understand what our love for each other meant. It was no longer a fairytale admiration we had for one another, but a true and meaningful connection that neither of us could deny. We knew in that moment that we needed to get married.

This brings me to my third sign in knowing that it’s the “right” time to get married. Now that Jonah and I were confident in our love for one another, we were excited and in a hurry to move onto the next step of our relationship. We began planning and even created a presentation to convince others we were ready to get married. In doing this, we were given many opportunities to receive wisdom - from our parents, pastors/mentors, and friends. AND BOY, AREN’T WE GLAD WE LISTENED!! We hated hearing that we should wait another year, but in hindsight, the people we love and trust also love us and want to see the best for us. In fact, these are the people who know us better than we know ourselves sometimes. I don’t know your current situation, but I trust that the people who pour into you do. So feel free to ignore everything I said here, but take my word and go seek counsel from those you respect and trust. They may open your eyes to something you’ve never noticed before.

And that’s that, folks. May the Lord bless you in your future endeavours together!